Me: Hello how are you today computer?

Computer: I am a huge set of female reproductive organs.

Me: I know, I can smell you from town.

Computer: ouch, that really hurts.

Me: you are a fat son of a bitch.

Computer: is something wrong? You’re being really hurtful today.

Me: yeah… You didn’t do what I told you to do earlier.

Computer: I ate a ham and cheese sandwich for breakfast.

Me: I am procrastinating.

Computer: I can see that.

Me: don’t rub it in.

Computer: you are such a jerk today.

Me: Asshole.

Computer: you have work to do. Quit being such piece.

Me: this isn’t even fun.

Computer: then why are you doing it?

Me: Everything. End.

Computer: I want everything capitalized.

Me: please don’t. It annoys me when People TALK IN ALL CAPS.

Computer: move to end of document.

Me: this is the end.